Living the Dream; tales from the life of a former college athlete turned full-time mommy

I blogged a few weeks ago about Gabe and I being able to celebrate being debt free for the first time since we’ve been married.  Saying goodbye to my student loans was an amazing feeling.  I think deep down I kindof felt that we would still be paying for them when the girls started college.  It was a truly wonderful feeling.  So Gabe and I have been wondering what to do next.  We listened to Dave Ramsey the whole time we lived in Nashville, but we never went through the Financial Peace classes or read his books.  So, our church here, Athens Church, was offering Financial Peace, so we signed up.  We had our first class last Sunday and I left there pumped up like I was getting ready to play a basketball game.  I came home and did our “homework” and read all 4 chapters we were supposed to read this week, I even skimmed others we weren’t supposed to.  I am just so excited to form our plan for saving, giving, and achieving Financial Peace!

The reason I titled this Competing Goals is that I feel like we have goals that compete with each other at this time.  We have huge dreams for our family, expanding through adoption and biologically.  But, that costs lots of money.  And since we just paid off all our debt, we are definitely in the rebuilding savings stage.  I also feel the burden that time is going by fast, I’m getting older, our kids are getting older, will we really expand our family some day? That question makes me anxious because this is a huge passion of mine.  I would do it tomorrow if I could make it happen.

We also have other things we would like to do, just like everybody else does.  This is just the biggest thing we are working on right now, trusting in the Lord’s timing.  So, it’ll be fun to see what we learn from this class and to see how God gives us the desires of our hearts as we seek Him and His plan and purpose for our future.

A couple of weeks ago the camp directors were in town for training and we went bowling.  It was kindof late so AJ was exhausted and found a place to lay down.  Neely quickly followed her.

This made me laugh.  This definitely shows their personalities.  Neely the sweet, loving, people pleaser.  Ansley Jane the funny, sassy, comedian.

Neely is playing Upward basketball and I am her coach.  It has been so much fun so far.  I’ll try to remember to get some action shots next week:)

So this past week has been a roller coaster of emotion.  We’ve been praying for Haiti and there really has not been much time that passes when Haiti is not on the forefront of my mind.  I was at the GA women’s bball game last night (they beat TN and it was a GREAT game) and the stands were packed and everybody was so focused on the game, and I thought to myself, there are children right now that are hungry and having to sleep outside, and we are watching a bball game and can go buy a coke at any time we feel like it.  My girls were complaining about still being hungry after they had already had supper and just finished popcorn and a bottle water.  I found myself almost mad at them for that.  Don’t they understand that there are kids that are REALLY hungry right now, and nothing to make that hunger go away?

Instead of getting really mad at them for something they obviously don’t understand yet, I decided I need to do a better job of teaching them about what is happening in the world.  I have to find the balance between teaching them responsibility, but not making them feel guilty for enjoying things we have.  Anybody have that down perfectly?  If so, please teach me:)

Anyway, this week God has shown Himself in a way that no one could have predicted.  He has taken something so horrible that happened, and given us little glimpses of Himself in the midst of it.  Licia in Haiti said she is seeing the community come together and try to help one another.  Our friends the Rhodes who are adopting Frankie from there, found themselves on ABC news being interviewed by Diane Sawyer, and now after 2 years in the system they are getting Frankie home sometime this week. Amazing.

Most of this week I have felt a tugging and a sense of urgency to do something more.  What that is, I’m not sure yet.

My heart is heavy today just like many others right now due to the devastation that Haiti has experienced and is continuing to experience even now.  For some reason, my heart has been drawn to Haiti over the past 3  years or so.  I had a patient in the ED at VCH from there shortly after I started there,  and I sat and listened to her father tell her story, in his broken english, because she did not know any english.  They came to the US a couple of weeks before I met them and they were being helped by a local agency, but they had no clothes, no jobs, no insurance, no transportation, etc.  They did have a 1 room apartment that the agency helped them get, but as far as any other “necessities”, they had nothing.

I remember feeling a stirring in my heart to learn more about Haiti and the resilient people that seemed to live there.  This family had experienced unimaginable tragedy, and yet there they stood before me, in the US, surviving without so much of what I thought of as things I could never live without.  I felt challenged to live better by this family.

So, I began learning what I could about Haiti.  Somehow I found a blog about a family that moved to Haiti many years ago to serve as missionaries. Their mom died a few years ago, and now the 2 daughters run a rescue center there, near Port au Prince.  One daughter is a nurse and I am convinced she can do anything medically.  The other daughter seems to be similar to a social worker.  There is no way to describe what they do, you just have to read about it.  It is truly remarkable.  You can find their blogs listed on mine, licia and lori.  As I read their blogs, I found a few other families who are adopting from Haiti, I found another family who moved there to serve, and it turned out some good friends of ours began the adoption process from there.

It feels good to write about Haiti and the people that are there making such a huge difference.  My heart is heavy not only for the Haitian people but for these missionaries there who are scared as well, and these adopting families that just want to be able to hold and comfort their child during such a frightening time.  God knows.  I keep reminding myself He hears our prayers.

I’ve been told that the biggest way  to help, besides pray, is to send money.  The country is full of people and food prices are skyrocketing, so money is the quickest way to make a difference.

It’s been eventful around our house the past couple of weeks.  I started working for Connect, helping with marketing, so I’m trying to get back in the groove of having something to do other than be a wife and mom.  It’s only two days a week, but it has changed things more than I anticipated.  God truly provided in Joanna, our babysitter.  One of my main stresses while we lived in Nashville was about childcare.  I honestly never thought about it until Neely was about 4 months old and I was starting a job, so I joined the game a little behind.  God provided various people that we loved and trusted, but seriously, leaving her with anybody was so hard.  That feeling of difficulty has continued the entire time we’ve had kids.  It’s probably because I’m a social worker and I’ve seen all the horror stories of what can happen to kids while parents are away, but I’m slowly remembering that I saw the small percentage of bad experiences, and in most of those cases, parents didn’t use the best judgment in who they left their kids with.

I’ll move on now:).  So, when we moved here, I assumed there would be no dates for Gabe and I for a long time, and there would be no way we would leave them for any trips, and I wasn’t going to be working, so we just wouldn’t need any sitters.  Well, anybody that’s a reasonable parent knows that there are times when you just have to, especially when you have no family in the area. What I didn’t realize was the connection we automatically had with so many college students through Winshape. Childcare has not one time been stressful for us.  WOOHOO.  I have IBS (some may think this is TMI, so sorry if you do), but any alleviation of ANY stress for me is great, so this is a big deal for us. Through these connections, we met Joanna, and VOILA!!!  She keeps the girls 2 afternoons a week for me to go into the Connect office to get some work done.  The girls love her and she is the sweetest person.  I am so happy the girls are getting to be around her.

Another thing is that for some strange reason, Ansley Jane woke up with a puffy eye this morning.  There are no bite marks or bruises or anything, so I’m not sure about that.  She laughs at herself when she looks in the mirror though.  It’s kindof like her eyelid won’t work, it just droops down.

Neely had a frenectomy this morning.  She has a piece of skin in her upper lip that is causing her teeth to separate, so she had to have laser surgery to have it removed.  Her lip is a little puffy, but she did great.

Over Christmas, Gabe accidentally knocked over a glass of water which landed directly on his opened computer, which resulted in him losing his computer.  That was 3 weeks ago and it still isn’t fixed.  Yet another reason why MAC is better than PC.  My hard drive broke last week and the MAC people fixed mine within 3 days.  Poor Gabe.

Gotta go to work now.  Have a blessed day!

Happy New Year!   A new year and a fresh start, right?  That’s how I am choosing to view it this year.  I usually get a little sad about it, I mean, another new year means I am a year older, a year further away from when I graduated high school, which means I’m getting old.  But, not this year, I refuse to be sad about it.  Good riddance 2009 and welcome 2010!  

I don’t really make new year’s resolutions, I used to and when I would break one, I would feel guilty, so now I just make a list of things I am choosing to work on this next year.  This may just be a play on words but for me, I’m seeing this list as an evolving thing that I am trying really hard to follow.  This helps me as a recovering legalist to give myself more grace if I miss a day:)

1.  Excercise  (I am actually very excited about this, I love to work out and break a sweat, but since we moved to GA and don’t have a gym membership, this has been hard and basically non-existent for the first time in my life, but not anymore!  I’m going tomorrow to join. YAY!!!)

2.  Healthier eating

3.  Reading the entire Bible in this next year

4.  Loving my family and extending grace to them like they always extend to me

5.  Seeing my sisters and brother more often

Here are some pics from Christmas. My highlights are playing basketball with my family and eating my mom’s cooking. I hope you all have a great New Year and a great first week back to work !

Christmas morning 2009

Yes my 3 year old daughter asked for a "tool setter"

My sweet girls

The Wii and board game sequence provided hours of fun entertainment

This was hysterical, AJ thought she was really hula hooping. I was holding the hula hoop around her and she wiggled her hips like she really was

Neely was pretty pumped about her pink car

We had a very fun weekend with some good friends from Nashville. The Westons came and we ate good, watched movies, played with the kiddos, and really had a good time.  Gabe took AJ on a date today to the GA women’s basketball game and she hasn’t stopped talking about it.    

Norma, Jennifer and me

Gabe and Ansley Jane at the game

Cheering on the Dawgs

She even won a pizza!

So fun

Gabe said the funniest part of their date was when our friend Mark bought her a sprite, which she has never had in her life.  She thought it was water and when she took a sip, she said “that burnded me, that’s not water”.

We spent Thanksgiving in South Carolina this year and had a great time.  We went on a scavenger hunt, the kids made pine cone turkeys, and even had a visit from Santa.  

A visit from Santa

One happy little girl

I love Thanksgiving and this year, I am very thankful for my family.  God has blessed me with such a wonderful husband who is the most amazing father to our girls.  I mean, really, this man can care for them just as well as me.  He knows how to change diapers (although we don’t have to do this anymore at this time), he knows how to feed them, he knows how to check a temperature, get them dressed (although it helps if I lay out the clothes since he is color blind), he plays with them and makes everything fun!  He is also the most patient person I know.  He’s pretty great!  

Our girls are great too.  Neely is a sweet girl who loves to make other people happy.  I am thankful for her sweet spirit and kind nature.  Ansley Jane is a little clown who loves to make people laugh.  She has such a spirit of joy in her,  her smile will brighten the darkest day.  

Happy Thanksgiving!

When I started this blog, it was mainly for the purpose to help me remember things about raising our family because I never write things down and I easily forget what just happened an hour ago:).  So many times in my life, God will show me something or teach me a lesson about something, and a month later, I no longer think about it, and before long I don’t even remember it.  Gabe and I have committed to remembering ways God has continually provided financially for us throughout our lives together.  We feel it is important to remember these times because it increases our faith and helps us not be hesitant to follow whatever we know He is calling us to.

I have been hesitant to share the details of this because it includes our personal financial information, but I feel like I should share it to help us remember, and to maybe encourage other people in their journey.  So, here goes.

September 2010-  Debt free!!!

What we have paid off since January 2008:

Gabe student loans     $10000

Allyson student loans     $25000  (I should make a note that this was for 1 year, yes I said 1, at UGA)

Nissan mini-van     $12500

Flat screen     $700

Total:  $48,200

When I see that total, I truly cannot believe it.  How did that happen?  When we moved to Nashville in 2004, I started listening to Dave Ramsey on the radio every afternoon and hearing stories of people who were now debt free and how they did it.  Gabe started listening as well, and we started talking about what that would feel like.  Both of us felt that while that would be great, it was impossible because that is just a little less than what we made in an entire year.  Also, we had a new baby and we wanted me to work as less as possible so I could be with Neely the majority of the time.  So, we agreed that we would not accrue any more debt and we would pay off as much as we could as fast as we could, but our debt didn’t go down.

Two years later, Ansley Jane entered our lives and we feel so blessed to be her parents.  At about the same time, we felt God leading us to launch Connect, but wondering how that would work with our desire to pay our bills and get out of debt.  Somehow Gabe leaving his comfy job at Lifeway to launch a non-profit with no salary for the first year did not make sense to us, but we knew it was the right thing to do.  We also knew this meant me going back to work full-time, which even me working full-time, my salary was only about 65% of what Gabe had been making.

Even with all those things, we are debt free.  I don’t write this to pat ourselves on the back or say, hey look at us, we are debt free.  I am writing this so I can remember how God took a completely crazy scenario, and made it happen.  He guided us to make good decisions and helped us stay disciplined when we wanted to splurge on something.  The weird thing is, I don’t feel like we have had to just eat beans and rice.  We have had to say no to ourselves at times when we wanted to go on a big vacation or get Gabe a car that doesn’t smell like rotten milk, but to me, those things are extras and not necessary to living a happy life.  At the same time, we have had lots of fun times over the past two years, and experienced a lot of great things.

We committed to pouring every extra bit of money we made toward our debt and we put ourselves on a cash system budget.  I will admit is has been a pain at times, but overall, very much worth it.  We now live in a nice house, which we felt comfortable  buying because it is the only debt we have.  I am working different little jobs to make some extra spending money each month, and while we are by no means wealthy (not even close), we feel it is worth it to continue living tightly while our girls are so young so I can continue to be with them the majority of the time.  It is going by so fast.

So, I am proud that we have accomplished our goal of being debt free besides our house. But mostly, I don’t want to forget what a miracle it is and God’s involvement in it.  This blog entry will be like a monument I am building to help me remember. Hopefully we can start saving more, giving more, and enjoying some extra fun things like a vacation to the beach this summer:)