Bracing through the roller coaster ride:)

This was great for me to read since I wrote it about 3 months ago. I’ve come a long way baby!

So its been 3 weeks and 1 day since I had Audrey Rose. At moments it feels like it has really flown by, at other moments, like it’s been the longest 3 weeks of my life. Let me preface this post by saying we fully understand what a miracle it is that we have her and are so very thankful for this special blessing. We prayed for her for so long and wanted her for several years. We feel so blessed that the Lord saw fit to entrust us with her. But while we are in the throes of adjustment, there are moments when it is really hard.

I feel like most people aren’t willing to talk about it, I’m not sure why. Maybe it feels wrong to, maybe it goes by faster for others than me, maybe most people don’t have a hard time with change like I do? I think that is what it boils down to for me, I really don’t handle any type of change very well, and I’ve heard it said that the only certain thing in life is that things change.

It feels like a roller coaster and from what I’ve read, that’s exactly what my body is going through right now. I joked with G the other day that I wish having a baby weren’t so hard. He gently reminded me that it’s because of sin that it’s not. One moment I feel anxious and worried over something that isn’t for a long time away or something that may not ever happen. The next moment, I feel exhilarated and excited about nothing in particular. It’s exhausting!

One thing that I have been constantly reminded of these past few weeks is the gently presence of my Savior. He has answered my prayers and cries for help. He has brought peace when I needed it. He has provided wonderful friends that have helped us tremendously by bringing meals or by just coming over to hang out. He has helped the girls adjust wonderfully to all the changes and both of them at different times today have said on their own that they are so happy to have Audrey in our home. That warms my heart like nothing else.

I am so richly blessed far more than I could ever deserve.

Yesterday morning I debated about keeping AJ home from school because she hasnt been feeling very well, but when I went in their room, she jumped out of bed with a smile on her face and said “good morning mom!”. Normally she has a little trouble getting up in the mornings, but not yesterday. Then she told me and Gabe at breakfast that Jesus came to her during the night and touched her throat, and He prayed for her. She said God was there too. I didn’t challenge her at all- I wish I could have been there with her when He visited:) I pray daily for Ansley Jane to accept Jesus as her Savior. That kid knows way more scripture than I do- she is literally hiding it away in her heart and when it comes to mind, she says it. So at times when I don’t feel like getting the kids to and from Awana, it’s good to remind myself that it is making a difference in their lives and when they are older, they will have God’s word in their hearts to help them.


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